Tuesday, December 29, 2009

How long does it take to get over a relationship?

The question that can never truly be answered. Everyone's experiences are different though we share similar pitfalls in our relationships. The common answer has been "one month for every year you were together", however, is this always appropriate? There seem to be more reasonable responses, and ones that can cover just about every situation. For instance, it may seem to hurt more and for a longer period of time if you were the one that was dumped, but that is not to say that the dumper does not hurt, too.
In some cases, a break or break up may be necessary to learn and grow from the relationship and having to recall memories can keep the wound open. This is, though, a good time to learn about yourself and how you handle relationships and how you can make things work better down the road.

I have seen some very insightful remarks here that are very helpful and relevant:

"It's a good idea to ask this question in a larger context: one that encompasses your whole life. The trouble with break-ups is that they tend to remind us of anything else in our lives which is "broken" -- where life is stuck, dissatisfying, or stagnant. So our angst about these other areas gets "triggered" by the upset of the break-up, and it starts to look like the break-up was maybe a big mistake: everything becomes painted the same color of black....Love and relationships is a tough area by itself: there's a lot of entanglement between our ideas of love and our ideas of who we are at a deep level, so a breakup can really shake someone's idea of self, and resolving the "trauma" of a breakup involves seeing clearly who you are and what your future is about. So you can't really separate this issue from the other issues in life."

"I think when people have touched our lives, we will never really forget them. Just we are able to move on and take the good bits into our next relationship."

While I do believe that sometimes people break up because they are together at the wrong time (as I mentioned here), this isn't a hugely common situation. Most of the time, it's pretty simple and easy to see what keeps a relationship from working (for example). There are some interesting things out there to help people cope with the loss of a relationship:

How to get over missing an ex. I tend to like Mikko's insight and he has a lot of articles that he's written, some of which are linked back in this one.

WikiHow!. The most helpful and logical I've read. Step by step "to do's" to help heal your heart. "No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it..."

There's often a lot to think about when a relationship ends, but that doesn't mean that every day or every thought has to be painful until the end of time.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

X-Mas, its meaning and why you are all wrong

I meant to post this a few days ago. A friend shared this link and it excited me to no end, as a friend of mine had already explained why we use "x-mas" in place of "Christmas". Prior to his telling me, I did not know and am so glad that someone wrote about it. Get it right, people, and stop causing controversy over nothing!
What does 'x-mas' mean?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Grammar Correction of the Day

This one is my pet peeve of a non-contraction: WANNA.

Let me tell you something about the non-word, "WANNA"; it's a contraction without the apostrophe. I'll get on the apostrophes in a later post. However, I have to clarify the correct use of the fake word, WANNA.

It's a contraction of "want to", however, many people use it as a contraction for "want a". It's not. It makes me a little nuts to even see intelligent people make this mistake. In reality, you are typing more/using more characters when you type "wanna" when you meant "want a" than if you were meaning to type "want to".

I wanna go home soon, but watching District 9 is making me want a steak!

Bah humbug!

In light of my being trapped in the hellhole of Little Elm, I am sharing some holiday worthy lists:

50 funniest celeb quotes of the decade. I somehow hadn't noticed that the decade was ending.

10 most depressing Christmas songs. While I am in a totaly Scrooge mood, people need to stop hatin' on "Last Christmas". Sad songs have to include sad music, too!

Patton Oswalt's 'Christmas Shoes' animation. Big time, awesome BAH HUMBUG!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Grammar correction of the day

My involvement in the online community has driven me to offer grammar lessons to those less fortunate asses that don't know even the basic rules of the one and only language that they speak.
Correction of the day: using "of" where "have" should be. For instance, you *should have* studied more in English class, because "of" is an adverb or prepositon!
No, really. When you contract the words, you don't write "should'f". You write "should've"; the "apostrophe-v-e" is a clue to the word that was contracted. The negative follows the same pattern, did you notice? You wouldn't type "should not of", now would you? The same goes for "would" and "could".
Here's a quick trick: if the phrase is followed by a past tense verb, you would use "have", which is the specific helping verb for imperfect past, and present perfect tenses. Think of it this way: if you had gone out in the rain and were stuck in a restaurant for 13 hours, you might think that you should have stayed home!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Adding to the blogroll

I have found a great article for some important things women should know about their men and sexual needs. I am enjoying his blog but I thought this one was important to share:

Updating the links

My reader is overflowing with updates from nerdom to music news. It's about time I put some up.

  • The Vatican makes mixtapes. Yeah. Click the link to see what songs they play.
  • Build your own iPod/iPhone dock. It's cool. I want to do it.

  • Windows 7 still fails. Users air their grievances about the OS but still say it's better than Vista.

  • Smashing Pumpkins' new song is available to DL. I just heard about this Billy Corgan/Jessica Simpson nonsense so he's kind of on my shitlist right now.

  • Six of the worst processed foods.Yummy!

  • Sigur Ros frontman releases solo single
  • Monday, December 14, 2009

    Quick Links

    Not anything too major, but incidentally, as the LotR anniversary approaches, there is a small theme:

    Tobey Maguire in talks to play Bilbo in The Hobbit.I love Tobey. I do. However, I have my doubts about this...
    and on the heels of the former, a nice little LotR spoof.
    Tom Waits is Lord of the Rings. Well. I want to know more about this.
    LotR will be available on Blu Ray this spring.

    In non-Lord of the Rings clips:

    Bobby McFerrin teaches us scales. Most people on Earth know him for "Don't Worry, Be Happy", but he has released many jazz albums over the years and he has an amazing knowledge of music. This short clip of him is amazing and I want to find more info about the program.

    Monday, November 30, 2009


    I don't really rec things like so many other blogs do, not in the way of promoting products. I do want to rec a couple of new blogs of some friends and get the pimping going on:

    Ask the Chef. This is a blog where you can get a variety of recipes and more importantly, ask food and cooking related questions.

    Tech news. If you'd like information on new products, sales and even gift ideas, this is a place to go.

    A Soapbox with a View. It's new, but I know this author and she will have some great things to share. She's also a great Vegan cook, so hopefully there will be some recipes available soon. This is what I call "peer pressure".

    And of course
    Personals Hell:No Wonder You're single. Just a fun blog that serves to poke fun at the most desperate, illiterate and hopeless of people looking for a date.

    Sunday, November 29, 2009

    Relationship talk: why they end sometimes

    Relationships are hard, but there are a few things we all should keep in mind to keep a relationship healthy and moving forward. I recently read a blog where the author wrote out some common reasons that men end relationships and I think I would like to offer some perspective for BOTH sides of the game. This is not why every man or woman leaves; it's some very real things that have gone wrong in some relationships that I hope can help save some fighting and even heartache.

    Why [some] men end relationships:

    1. They don't get a chance to talk or ever be right.
    Last night, I was at Semolinas and overheard a couple having what was becoming a heated conversation. The man was saying that the woman was wrong, and he actually cited examples and the woman just kept saying "nope, no, no". I am a good arguer, as I'm told, and in logical argument, if you do not have a defense, you have no argument at all. So while I have no idea what they were discussing, it seemed as though the woman just didn't want to be wrong. She couldn't counter his points or cite her own reasons for why her recollection of the incident was different. This can lead men to feel like they are never right, and their experiences aren't valued by their partner. What can also happen is that the woman can become over bearing with her thoughts; often getting louder, yelling, or talking over the man. For any person, this can lead to feeling like the other person isn't listening and doesn't value what you have to say. This is no different for men. What's worse is that men often take great effort to offer their thoughts and feelings and after not being listened to, they may clam up altogether. This will lead to a lack of communication on multiple levels, and even a good relationship can begin to crumble under that weight.

    2. Loving him too much is suffocating.
    It seems bizarre to say that loving someone too much is bad. But for a guy, no matter how in love he is, after some time, he will want his relationship life separated from his regular goings on. I must quote Paul Rudd from the movie "Knocked up": "Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you? The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around". Women like to show they care by being there. Men show their love by supporting and protecting. Men need personal time, even when they're smitten. It is very important for couples to maintain the personal lives that they had while they were single and to make sure to nurture friendships that were valued before they became coupled up. Men tend to be more logical in this and knowing that their relationship might not last so they do not want to lose other things that are important in their lives. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care; it just means that he may already know that being too involved with each can lead to boredom or aggravation and he doesn't want that to happen.

    3. Insecurity.
    Even the best matched couples can find themselves in trouble if one or both parties is insecure about themself in any way. Women tend to expect their men to reinforce their self esteem but we forget the most important part of that phrase: SELF. No one can make you feel better about yourself. It is incredibly taxing for a man to feel like he always has to emotionally support a woman in this way. It is not necessary to ask a guy if an outfit looks nice every time you get dressed to go out. You bought it so you should already know if it looks good on you or not. The worse manifestation of insecurity is the suspicion of cheating. If a man has given his woman no reason to suspect that he would want someone else, a woman shouldn't assume it is so because she has a problem with herself. The first sign is when a woman wants to know what her guy is doing any time that he is not with her, or asking about female acquaintances that are in his life. If a woman is worried about where her relationship is heading, she should talk about it instead of potentially pushing him into the arms of a stranger. He picked you and he wants you to be confident in knowing that.

    4. Excessive independence.
    A lot of women, especially us black women, have a tendency to feel that we have to secure our futures with or without a man in our lives. I do not believe that a woman's role is simply to serve her man. But I once heard that "when a woman buys a house when she's single, that says to men 'I don't need you, don't bother". Men are wired to be providers and that is their number one way of showing how much their care. Thus, when a woman removes that from the equation, she makes him obsolete. It is a blow to his masculinity if he feels that he can't provide some things for her, or that he is not a needed or valued part of her life. So while every woman should have her own goals, job, education, car and domicile, she should beware of prematurely buying that turkey baster because the man that wants to be that for her may think that she has no need. Women must allow a man to open doors and pay for things from time to time. It is helpful is she asks him to fix something even if she knows she can do it herself. He should feel that he has a purpose and that he is not disposable.

    5. Not valuing his sexuality.
    Men operate on a hormone that drives them to want to procreate. The survival of his best features are dependent on this, well, in an animalistic sense. We like to blame testosterone for men's problems but don't forget, it is coursing through female brains, too. Men are not just horny monkeys; they DO like to express their affection physically and they did pick the woman they are with because they are attracted to her. So while female libidos may be a little slow going, it is important to recognize that it is a big part of a man's relationship with his woman. Sometimes women refrain from sex for silly reasons. Not making time for romance because she doesn't want to mess up her hair, or a TV show is on, or any other reasons that I I mean women have given that AREN'T your period will send him thinking that it, and thus HE, aren't important. It may be annoying that he wants it seemingly all of the time, but the day that he doesn't means that the relationship is in serious trouble.

    6. Infidelity.
    This should be number ONE but I am not ranking these as all reasons vary from couple to couple. Men do not have the same capacity to forgive and forget as women do. Once their trust is ruined, it is hard to get it back, if at all. They are also very aware of how sexuality works for women (and how we are inclined to have sex less often, typically) and if she is so bold as to cheat, then he understands that she simply has no need for him anymore.

    Why [some] women end relationships:

    1. He disregards her wishes.
    No, boyfriends and husbands aren't magic genies, but even the most reasonable requests can be ignored on a regular basis and this is frustrating to a woman. She views her relationship as a partnership and that means that men participate in the mundane, the dirty and the annoying. If she doesn't get a break from daily routine, why should he? It is not painful to help around the house, fix or seek repairmen for broken things, or to even hand over things that are needed. Football, video games, and even phone calls are no excuse to not be there when a woman says she needs help. In the case of an "independent woman", if she dares to ask, she must mean it. When the requests truly are irrational, he should tell her so. Men may not know where the line is to be drawn, but a good place to start is to ask yourself if you would need or want help with that particular thing if it were you. Sometimes it may even be an excuse for her to have her guy around when she can't engage in other activities with him.

    2. The relationship is stagnant.
    Most women dream about marriage before they start their first period. Women learn to date and have fun, but by a certain point in life, whether by societal pressure or the incessant ticking of our biological clocks (which men also have), women start to whittle out those that don't have the stamina for the long run. Women can be very lenient and accepting of men and break ups for this reason can seem to come out of nowhere, but at some point she has realized that she doesn't want to marry him or that he doesn't act like he wants to marry her. A friend of mine once said that "love is easy, but commitment is a bitch". Truer words have been spoken, but these are good, too.
    It may a big deal for a guy to even coast along with a woman because, to him, this is commitment. If he has not left or sought out a new partner, in his mind, that's good enough. Women, however, don't want to hold the regret of what could have been. Maybe the guy at the car dealership might have been "the one" and she might never know it if she stays with a guy that isn't considering a future with her.

    3. Emotional Infidelity.
    What is emotional infidelity, you ask? Women expect to be the emotional support system for their men and even friends, and when someone that they trust to come to them seeks outside support, it is very hurtful and damaging. Most men do not keep a lot of female friends, and the ones that do will find ways to assure his woman that these are platonic relationships. When these lines are crossed by flirtation or even engaging in deep emotional conversations, it makes the woman feel like she is not needed or even that she's done something wrong. It is often a sign that the man is unhappy with his woman (see number one and number five of why men leave) and once she realizes this, she may opt to jump ship before he can do any further damage, leave, or even cheat on her.

    4. Baby mama troubles.
    Men who have children from previous marriages and relationships are tied to those women for life. A smart woman will do her best to respect that relationship because that child is always going to be number one. However, men do not consider what role the non-mama is in. No matter what the status of your relationship or your future, she can never be number one in your life or first at anything. Maybe you will get married one day, but she will always have the burden of knowing that she won't have your first child, or that "the other woman" will always have to be in not just your life, but hers. When single parents enter relationships, they must decide where their relationship is going and what role their child/children will play in that relationship. There must always be a balance and respect and when those scales tip, a woman may cut and run because she doesn't feel valued and that there never really is a place for her in his life.

    5. She's scared you don't like her and you will leave.
    It's a symptom of insecurity, yes, but in a person whose very being is knit together to ensure survival, women may dump a guy to spare her own hurt. It is usually easier to get over regret than self doubt. Sometimes the signs may be anything from not spending as much time with her as often he used to, not being physically engaging, or not allowing her to participate in his life (meeting friends, offering advice, cooking, or going to his preferred hang outs). She may see these things as signs that he doesn't like her as much, and instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, it is best to sneak out the back door and live as little as a Dear John note. She may be wrong, and if she is, some guys may investigate further, but generally, she will leave and not look back. She would rather feel that she's lost out than feel like she made him stay or his life less enjoyable.

    There are little things that can eventually cause volcanoes to erupt, mountains to be made from molehills, and things like socks not being put in the hamper to WWIII-like effects in relationships. It is very helpful to recognize what they are and try to fix them before irreparable damage is done.

    General troublemakers:

    1. Venting your frustrations to friends that can't help.
    It is very natural and OK for people to vent to their friends when they're mad at their partner, but it can become a nasty habit. It is unhealthy for the friends because they can begin to develop a bias against the partner because all they ever hear are the negative aspects of the relationship. It is also hurtful because when people vent, they tend to think that they're over the problem, and then the issue is never discussed and thus never resolved. Even the most caring person can not correct something they've done wrong if they don't know that it negatively affected someone else.

    2. Not allowing for change.
    So, guys screw up. It is easy for a woman, especially a woman who has her life in order, to find fault in ways that a guy may not. The more serious a woman becomes about her relationship, the more "perfect" she will want it to be. This is because a mature woman is trying to make a home, and she can not jeopardize the survival of that home, child, or relationship. However, Women may ask or even demand that a guy do or don't do something, but then jump to the assumption that in a similar situation he will automatically repeat the undesirable action. Allow him to screw up. If an issue is discussed, the guy has to be allowed to fix it. This is true for women as well. It is hard, at times, to acknowledge that the things that women do to make their own lives work do not translate into the relationship. When she finds this out, she also has to be given the chance to make up for the mistake.

    3. Not apologizing.
    No matter how big or small the problem is, an apology can go a long way. An apology isn't saying "I'm wrong"; it is saying that an understanding has been met. For instance, if a husband tells his wife he has a meeting AT five, and she thinks that he will be DONE at five, she may say, "I'm sorry, I misunderstood what time you'd be done". Sometimes men are afraid to apologize because they have huge, overflowing egos and they think that saying "sorry" will mean that they did something wrong. In Spanish, one would say "lo siento", meaning "I have sorrow for it". Giving an apology with explanation can also alleviate concern that blame will be placed (like in the example above. She does not say "I was wrong", but that she has sorrow that she misunderstood).

    4. Lying.
    If a person is a pathological liar, the pathological part can be refreshing because there is a pattern or understanding that it happens all of the time. When a person lies indiscriminately, with no reason, it can break trust in even worse ways than lying does on its own. For instance, if a girl says that she is going shopping with a co-worker when she is really having lunch with a guy friend, she is doing two things: 1) suggesting that what she is doing is not acceptable in her relationship and 2) suggesting that there will be a pattern in this behavior and the next time she is shopping with her friend, she must really mean she's at lunch with a guy. What happens if she doesn't lie the next time and she really IS shopping? Then her guy is then free to assume that she could be lying ALL of the time.
    In general, dishonesty is bad. If a person can not handle the truth, that is their problem and it should be discussed. Sometimes guys lie because they don't want to upset a woman; sometimes they lie because they think that she will think the truth is stupid. No one should ever have a fear of communication. If you do it openly with friends, why wouldn't it be done openly in a relationship?

    5. Becoming complacent in your duties.
    Sometimes people tend to forget that relationships need to be a balance of give and take and fair expectations. Sometimes men and women start to expect things out of their partners that they could not deliver on themselves. Hypocrisy is a killer. It's not good to tell someone that it burns your biscuit to watch them to eat with their mouth open but you are really smacking away on that corn on the cob. Be realistic. It is also bad to attack a partner for not completing household duties if your half aren't done.

    6. The Blame Game.
    No one can be right all of the time. It is usually best in a discussion or argument to recognize fault and to be mature enough to accept it. It is not helpful to try to divert attention and claim that maybe the dishes aren't washed, but your partner has left six pairs of socks on the floor. It is not a time to try to feel better about being wrong, or to air grievances that you haven't plainly talked about. It is best to apologize for whatever is wrong or to try to have a discussion about what can be done to remedy it.

    Every relationship is going to have its own pitfalls, and every individual has their own deal breakers. These are some very common and hopefully avoidable pitfalls that can help take a relationship to a new level.

    Some info taken from here.

    Monday, November 23, 2009

    Put your thinking caps on

    Just a few links today:

    Three steps to help alleviate poverty.

    Race doesn't matter..but color does. A study shows that people's political views are corresponding to a person's color.

    Guy marries fake girlfriend. Things are spiraling out of control at this point.

    Saturday, November 21, 2009

    Wanna know what I've got?

    *Google Chrome is the wave of the future. I still don't understand how the "cloud" that your data is on is safe, but Google products continue to be released to great reviews.
    *The Post Office hates Santa. They will stop forwarding kid's letters to North Pole, Alaska. Santa is dead, y'all.
    *British epileptic plans to display seizures to audience. She will try to induce a seizure as "performance art". WTF?
    *movie popcorn is worse than three hamburgeres. The good, drippy, McDs burgers. DAMN. The movies have to ruin EVERYTHING.
    *NY Philharmonic will offer..dinner theater. Ok not really, but starting next year they may offer after-show, top chef made meals.
    *Zac Efron is hot. That's all.

    Tuesday, November 17, 2009

    He vuelto!

    I have been sick for the last three weeks and being sick+taking care of basic responsibilities=no online playing. So I have more than 1,000 unread articles on my reader, and I'm going to get around to sharing them with you.

    *The 7 stupidest relationship fights by Maxim. I would personally add in "you never tell me how you feel".
    *Funny eye cream ad
    *No Wonder you're single

    *How to make your passion your job
    *When did these celebs lose their virginity?
    *What's the point of being in a relationship?
    *My Little Pony, remade
    *Restrooms on cruises are the dirtiest around
    *Why do we need universal healthcare? Because the US falls behind in offering sick time and benefits
    *7 things that 'good' parents do wrong. Great list. If you have kids or are planning to have kids, please do not make these ridiculous mistakes.
    **In reference to number seven of that last link: check other languages to make sure that your newborns new "unique" name isn't something offensive or stupid. Because "Suri" actual means stupid things in at least THREE different languages.
    *People who chronically get the flu may be less likely to develop H1N1.
    *2012:The movie-review. Very funny and well written, I might add.
    *Five tech gifts for under $25
    *60 Second Podcast: Why are your memories blurred falacies of your mind? Because you have to get rid of your old ones so thatyour brain can make room for new ones.

    Why you should know your world: most people don't realize why the "killer" is part of the common name for Orca, or "Killer" whales. A group of whale watchers found out why.

    Mom always said that liver was good for you.

    Thursday, October 22, 2009

    Monday, October 19, 2009

    Do you know trichotillomania?

    Every year or so, I post about some information or patterns regarding this disorder that I have (that some people like to argue I have not been diagnosed therefore I do not have it) and this is my re-welcome entry into the subject.
    I have trichotillomania. It is a psychological disorder that causes one to compulsively pull out body hairs. It is a compulsion, and is described as a type of OCD, but more specifically as an impulse control disorder. There are many other ICDs out there that people are more familiar with, such as nail biting, skin picking and non-tourette's related ticks. It is not as uncommon as many sufferers believe.

    My amazing friend, Rachelle,the awesome book publicist, alerted me of a book called "Marni" which is part of a series of books called Louder than Words-a series of books by teenaged girls for teenaged girls. The story is written by Marni Bates and she suffers with trich. She is 19 years old.

    The book, while a good read, is not highly focused on Marni's development of trich or struggles with it. It is mostly about her troubled family life. She doesn't begin to mention trich until page 93. In this, I was a little disappointed. I want to read or hear about other people's triggers and trials because I want to come to understand what makes this tick happen and, hopefully, how it can be stopped.
    Marni does describe when she first started pulling her hair and where (specifically, her eyebrows at first) and by page 100, she describes quite the annoying habit that I share with her: the desire to pull other people's disheveled facial hairs! Javonda and Jeff know all too well that I may be staring at an out of place eyebrow hair or a criss-crossed eyelash while I'm supposed to be participating in a conversation. That is sometimes more embarrassing than the desire to pull my own hair.
    Marni also mentions her discovery of tweezers-a harmless invention that can be the ultimate tool of destruction for someone with trich. I started pulling the hair around my face when I was eight, but stopped a few months later, only to have the desire arise in the eighth grade. I would pull eyelashes out by the chunk and this annoyed me, as I was only after one-the "bad" one. I soon discovered what precision I could receive by using tweezers but this ultimately fueled my pulling instead of restricting it. I didn't notice how serious it was until high school, when I saw a picture of myself and a friend and there was a gap in the thick black lashes on my right eye. I had been walking around like this and I never realized it. For poor Marni, the damage to her face was obvious in the beginning, in middle school.
    It is a short book and a quick read and I would recommend it to anyone who is suffering from trich or knows someone who is. Just knowing how many people are out there that have this disorder can ease the stress of doing it. Part of the destructive cycle in trich is the shame that we feel from thinking that we are alone in experiencing this, and the shame creates stress which causes more pulling. Awful cycle, no?

    My sister also suffers from very mild trich, and she has been able to get it more under control than I can. The hardest thing to deal with about having trich is having non-compulsive people telling you to just STOP. Please, if you know someone with a compulsion, do not tell them to stop, because they can't. And the embarrassment of your expectation makes it worse. When I was a child, my dad would put his dirty gym socks on my hands to keep me from pulling my hair. This, more than having someone slap my hand or yell at me, helped me to keep my hands out of my hair for a longer period of time. But clearly, the desire is still there.

    One of the most relevant things that Marni says in her book is that she realized that pulling her hair cleared her mind; she was able to be free from all of the worries that swam in her mind throughout her day. This is more true than anyone may realize. I didn't realize it. I have been told that I am pulling my hair and I wasn't even aware of it. Marni was told that some people even pull in their sleep. Until I read her words, I didn't realize that pulling my hair made me concentrate. I have been trying to find my trigger for a long time now; was it stress? was it work? was it sadness? It may very well be that I need to concentrate and the only way to quiet my mind is to occupy the part that I'm not using. I pulled my hair while watching "The Time Traveler's Wife". If you saw the movie, you'd understand! So much going on that it takes a lot of effort to watch, much less care about the movie.

    Reading Marni's book has been a huge revelation for me. While I try to journal every time I pull, it hadn't revealed some clear cut reason for doing it. This most recent time I had been pull free since the viewing of the above mentioned film until I started working on a project for a job I'd applied for. Intense concentration was needed. My hair was not. I thought it was odd that I didn't have the tingling sensation that usually causes me to pull and now I understand why. It's not my scalp, or stress, that causes me to pluck out those kinky black hairs, one by one, by the root. It's the need to quiet that incessant hum inside my brain that keeps me awake at night, that makes my mind wander while reading, forcing me to read and re-read the same lines over and over again, or while someone is talking to me about something that I have no personal investments in. I can now put the pieces together. I can now work on a solution, or at least an alternative. The only other time I am so clear headed is when I walk. One mile, two miles, three miles. If I can replicate this free-mindedness, I may have a way to spare my hair (and eyelashes), and recover from a little known disorder with even fewer known cures.

    Marni's book is available on Amazon and there's more info about her on the Louder than Words site.
    All of my posts about my trich are here

    Thursday, October 15, 2009

    a bunch of fun vids

    I have been slacking on posting but I hope that some of these funny videos make it better. I can't help myself, I love goofy comedy.

    Obama's healthcare reform in auto-tune. It's funny. I avoided it at first but it is actually LOL worthy.
    What does that hand say to the face? SLAP. REMIXED. Thank you, Dave Chappelle.
    Vince Schlomi's Slap chop remix.

    I don't think this guy is trying to be funny, but if he is, he's a genius. Watch him sing up to five octaves. Watch out, Mariah. Shane's coming up!

    And on the heals of the Hammond judge that wouldn't marry an interracial couple, I offer THE BLIND DATE. This guy and his group are hilarious.

    And for some sweetness, this video is of the most awesomely coordinated Halloween light show ever. I'm never going back to the Halloween laser show at the planetarium again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83VJ6fzQ-1s

    Sunday, October 4, 2009

    Stuff you should know

    I've been away! I've slacked on my articles! But here are some good ones to check out:

    Oldest human skeleton found. Huge deal, since she is MUCH older than Lucy. What I don't understand is that they are saying that this disputes the missing link argument when, to me, it seems to be evidence for it.
    Toyota makes huge recall on nearly 4 million cars.
    Everything you need to know about the Swine Flu vaccine.
    A few quick facts about H1N1 flu:
    People born before 1957 were exposed to ancestors of the new pandemic virus, which are in a lineage that goes back to the notorious H1N1 virus that touched off the raging pandemic of 1918-19. That's why people older than 52 are likely to have some protective antibodies that "cross-react" with the new H1N1 flu.

    In 1957, for reasons flu experts don't fully understand, H1N1 viruses disappeared for 20 years. They were supplanted by other seasonal flu strains, such as the currently circulating H3N2. So younger Americans didn't get exposed to H1 viruses while they were growing up.

    Then in 1977, H1N1 came back into circulation, possibly because of a laboratory accident in Russia that released an archived virus. Since then H1 viruses have evolved further away from earlier versions.

    On average, 20,000 Americans die of the season flu, also known as H3N2-this far surpasses the current number of fatalities due to Swine Flu.
    It's also important to acknowledge that though this is a mutation, it is still a previously existing virus and there shouldn't be alarm about this new strain. The approximation for deaths in the U.S (that I can find) is under 200.
    Getting the vaccine is a personal decision, just like getting the season flu shot. This is just information to help make your own, informed, decision.
    Scientists may have a vaccine for the HIV virus.
    29 ways to change a habit. All very true.
    How to turn anxiety into inspiration

    Malawian man powers town with windwill. Amazing video embedded.
    Come stream the "Where the wild things are" soundtrack
    Thom Yorke and Flea formed a new band. This should be interesting!
    Watch out, Twitter worm steals user info. I hate Twitter.
    Blockbuster FAILS. They are reported to close as many as 960 stores due to slumping sales in competition with Netflix and Redbox. Yeah, they should go down since they don't carry "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"...
    For your funny:
    Riverdancing dog. He does a good job...

    Monday, September 21, 2009

    12 states we could all do without

    A friend and I were talking about band tours and traveling and he ended up mentioning how much I dislike Arkansas. In case you didn't know, I hate the state of Arkansas. I thought everyone knew this. He did. And he made a joke that I would be a 39 state theorist and I have been so challenged to name 11 states that I could stand to live in America without. I'll do him one better and give you 12.

    Besides obvious reasons such as the fact that the state is full of idiots, it is just a completely useless state. It is not currently nor has it ever really contributed anything to this union. If you've ever driven through or across Arkansas, it was probably one of the worst moments of your life. This state is mooching off of other states by having towns named "Texarkana" and "West Memphis". Get your own towns, Arkansas!

    This state is named Spanish for "mountain". Yeah, we get that. You're not the only state to have those tall, pointy, snow capped things called mountains. If this is their only bragging point, then they should go on and give up now. Well, that and it's ranked as the fourth largest state. Why do they need to hoard all that space? Go on and give Idaho a little of that land back so they can be nice and square, too.

    I know that there are some people who are huge fans of Portland; I've even been told that I would love it there. However, that doesn't mean that we need the whole state. Oregon isn't contributing anything to our union. They don't have grass grown from gold or or giant puppies. Just a lot of space between California and Washington. If we want to keep Portland, why don't we just drop the Washington state line a few miles and give our great city a new home and stop making Portland carry all of the dead weight of the entire state?

    West Virginia
    You might think I'm just being a jerk when I say that we could all live without West Virginia, but the truth is, do we really need a state that is just named "West" of the state it's next to? The true irony of our sad, loser states is that West Virginia is nicknamed "The Mountain State". Sucks that they gave the real name to Montana. West Virginia couldn't even do that right.

    New Hampshire
    I don't particularly like states that are named after a direction or the "new" version of something else. I won't hate on the significance of the original colonies, but what has N.H. contributed since? It's yet another stretch of land between more interesting states. Do they have tall trees there, or something?

    What did Minnesota do to anyone, you may ask? Everything. Even its own residents don't like it. More than half of the entire state's population lives near St. Paul. That's a LOT of people for the twelfth largest state. What are you running from? The stinking smell of cheese that's floating over your border? Also, Minnesota has one of the more annoying U.S English dialects. Can't you just hear someone mocking them by stretching out that "mean-ahh-so-tahhhh"? If I were doing a list of cities, for that reason alone, Boston would be on my list.

    It's Alabama. Do we need to talk about it? They eat baby souls while sitting on their front porches in year-round hell heat. And they're damned proud of it.

    New Mexico
    New Mexico's just sitting there, being all hot and just stealing some of the interest from Arizona. The fact that the majority of its population is still Native Americans and Mexicans suggests that we should just give the damned state back. Adding the "new" in its name doesn't make it any more or less like the original.

    Aside from now being the memorial ground for Michael Jackson, can anyone name anything interesting or important about the state? The state's unoriginal name simply means "Land of the Indian"- not because there are a ton of red feathers left in the state, but because they let them live there a little while before hauling them off to the reservations. Aside from the Indi 500, which could be done in any state, Indiana has not lured us to its border for any good reason.

    North Dakota
    Again, directional state names annoy me. The state may have had an honorable name but being named after a native Indian tribe but couldn't that name have sufficed? Just...Dakota? Ew, now I'm thinking of Dakota Fanning. Ruined. North Dakota hasn't given us any yummy foods (yes, Idaho has been spared because of it's potato crops. I love potatoes. I'm the Bubba Gump of potatoes), interesting innovations or sexy people. All of these are important parts of our country.

    South Dakota
    It's south of North Dakota. What else is there to say? A friend just argued that South Dakota should be spared because of the "Teton National Park" but that's not even in this state. She also mentioned the Black Mountains but I could just as well go to another mountainous state when it's not snowing. There, they're black.

    It's a complete rectangle. That, for me, is reason enough. However, it also has a "W" and an "M" in the name and that just ruffles my feathers like no one's business. "W" is for WINNERS. Wyoming is for LOSERS. It has the lowest population of all the U.S.. Did you know that there's a place called "Dead Indian Pass"? It sounds like a hate crime, and I hate Wyoming for it.

    Tuesday, September 15, 2009

    More science links than not

    I don't think this should really be considered science, but it is amusing nonetheless: What's that glow in the night sky?
    Swimming pool chlorine may raise health risks for kids. Don't go getting all super paranoid, but then there's this : showerhead bacteria may make you sick
    Then beware of what you eat; Fatty foods can trick your brain into making you fatter
    Music is more healing than you thought: it can alter your perceptions of other people

    Work tips: a book on how to keep the peace in the office
    An American author traces the evolution of God

    LoTD: 7 least convinicing movie high schoolers

    Saturday, September 12, 2009

    Shopping and swapping

    Somewhere in my evolution, I became a shopper. An ONLINE shopper, no less. I've also become an online SELLER; anything that I've bought that I don't like or doesn't fit has to go somewhere; I've found a fantastic place for it to go.

    You can list items just as you would on Amazon or Craigslist but you have the option of selling it OR swapping it for something else!

    I am amazed by this site. It has just rocked my world. I am in no position to shop but if I feel that ever-nagging desire to acquire new things, I can do it easily and without breaking the bank. I love it.

    Friday, September 4, 2009

    Weird links for Friday

    If I didn't know any better, I'd think today was Friday the 13th!

    NWSSex in the city...for real...
    Cat 'bathes' in sink. It's cute and longer than necessary, but who doesn't like watching cat videos??
    Satan, say cheese!. I think it looks more like a demon than the dark prince himself.
    What should the church do? DRINK!
    Man gets himself arrested to get away from his wife
    Forget Laughing Cow cheese; how about some sad, suicidal cow cheese?
    Cat totally OWNED by fish aquarium
    Preschool FAIL
    Man bites off another man's finger during a healthcare reform protest
    Deformed frog found in can of Pepsi. This makes me more alarmed that a friend had FIVE underfilled cans of Diet Cherry Pepsi in his twelve pack...
    Iron Man 2 may be in 3D
    60 second podcastGrowing tomatoes with pee
    60 second podcast:Body clock linked to weight gain
    R. Kelly plans to finish Michael Jackson songs...smh...


    Monday, August 31, 2009

    I read way too many sites

    KRS One writes Hip Hop Bible
    A short article on how your brain deciphers multiple sounds
    Putting your child in daycare can help parents make friends
    Psych hospital in Buenos Aires teaches Tango as therapy

    Don't even reply dot com. This guy reponds to stupid ads just to annoy people. Ingenious. People post some really ignorant ads online...
    Dullest Blog dot com. Some guys is making a satirical blog making fun of boring posts. His blog is hot, apparently.
    The Scarlet Letter, revisited. A VA man caught cheating was forced to stand at a DC intersection with a sign declaring his infidelities. Women are smarter than you.
    Vaccuum ad fail

    Sunday, August 30, 2009

    cloudy sunday links

    Burglars going hi-tech and using Facebook and Twitter to rob you. Yeah, see, I knew there was a good reason to hate those sites.
    America's best places to find a job. There are some unlikely cities on that list. Shreveport? REALLY??
    The origins of the film 'District 9' It's a short film that spawned the idea for the movie.
    Cranberries reunite for tour

    Knitting with Dog Hair. Someone's turned the art into a very boring book.
    Wifi prostitutes. A new way to think about finding free Wifi connections.
    Probably bad news

    Sunday, August 23, 2009

    Links on a nice day

    Homer Akinbola? An Angolan marketing firm has made the Simpsons go all Black.
    Gamers are as sad as you think. The average videogamer is 35 and quite the unhappy sap.
    Robot cats could provide care for the elderly. Creepy.
    Study shows that we eat more when our friends do. Yes, the fatter your friends are, the more likely you are to overindulge. While there is a study that shows that we mimic our peers out of an evolutionary need, getting the giant onion blossom is NOT contributing to our betterment. However the US life expentancy is at an all time high of 78. How are we managing to continue to pump grease through our veins for this long??
    8 phenomenon that defy explanation. Number 1? THE FLU.
    I admit that I was overwhelmed by too much Shakespeare in college but creating a 3D musical of Hamlet is no way to spice it up.
    Remember Andrew WK? He has a new album of tribal music.

    Friday, August 21, 2009

    How to know if they're THE ONE

    Too many times, too many of us have asked our friends and parents how they knew that their spouse was THE ONE and the same answer has been echoed: "I just knew". What does that mean? This feeling of knowing that seems to escape our lives in some many other areas seems to stand firm when it comes to relationships. There is no further explanation although in some cases they say "it was time" and that just raises more questions. In an article by Mikko Kempe, he addresses what it means to just know. He has finally addressed something that even I have struggled with: that knowing is not just about that person.
    We tend to think that we will KNOW something about our partners that will enlighten us, bring us to the point of changing, settling down, letting go of adolescent desires. It is actually more about yourself.
    Our generation (yuck) has a different set of values than our parents and this can make their advice on relationships a bit obsolete, although it is not all together lost. We are focused on a person that meets certain superficial requirements as well as other emotional and personal needs. Many of our parents (for those of us whose parents are over 50) may have sought out different traits, such as cleanliness, level of responsibility, maturity, career stability and mutual personal values. We are now abandoning a lot of these things in exchange for a partner whose interests more closely match out own, and later find that some of the more 'practical' parts of relationships and marriage do not work. This does not mean that they are not THE ONE, or that we can not rely on our intuition to guide us. It may mean that we are evaluating the wrong aspects to try to come to a conclusion.
    Mikko says that, above all else, we have to be ready for THE ONE to even begin to ponder them at all. According to Mikko, there are four things that one must have in place to make this decision:
    1. Your heart has to be fully open.
    2. You have to have the ability to be fully honest with yourself.
    3. You have to trust your intuition.
    4. The timing has to be right.
    I agree completely on this. I have somehow stumbled upon these truths in the last year or so. Not meeting even one of these conditions can lead you away from finding the person who matches you.
    Being open is more complicated than it seems, and is the first barrier to having a lasting relationship. How does one know how to be loved? Sometimes, we think that giving love is enough, but it is not fulfilling to your partner if they can not completely love you back. I have spent a lot of time with people who did not think they were worthy of truly being cared for, and the conflict that it causes is a huge one. We all have to accept ourselves as we are, with faults and achievements and gifts to give and all. I have a ton of things that I think I could do differently but I still think that even if I never fix them, I am still someone worth loving.
    Most people are not fully, really, honest with themselves. This can be about ANYTHING. Their true career desires, bad habits, or even what it is they are really capable of handling in a relationship. I have a friend that is hell bent on being with a tall, beautiful, intelligent blond woman. Yet, he has fallen short of being mature and intelligent himself. He is not honest with himself that he is not matched to this perfect woman of his dreams, nor is he honest with the fact that these superficial qualities do not at all guarantee a fulfilling relationship. I think we all have to know who we are, how we are viewed by others, and what people are an actual match to that.
    I don't want to really dwell on intuition because it's kind of a catch 22. It is really important to know and trust your gut, but we always seem to trust it at the wrong times. Our gut says "get that two scoop ice cream sundae" and we do it, yet when it screams, "that car salesmen is a con!", we go on and buy that car anyway. Many people think that they have a type because there has always been a pattern in the people that they have dated or who find them attractive but I know that for me, my gut told me otherwise. I had to stop dating musicians, FOR REAL. Just because that's what you've done, it doesn't mean that's what you should continue to do. Some revamping of our guttural desires is sometimes needed to get the real answers we seek.
    But ultimately, all of this has to come at the right time. People often say "you'll meet someone when you're not looking" and I think that by this they mean that you are no longer needing someone in your life; you have worked out some major kinks and when you are content with yourself (and realizing that you ARE worthy of loving), someone out of the ordinary plops into your lap. They aren't necessarily the one, but you are more able to see the path clearly versus having it cluttered with leaves and shit.

    Why does this seem so hard? It is easy to write out; it is easy to say to someone. The truth of the matter is that it takes work to make all of these things fall into place. KNOWING if someone is THE ONE is not as easy as craving pasta and going to the restaurant and ordering it and it's placed in your lap; you have to make it yourself. Working and toiling and putting in all of the right pieces makes for just the right dish.

    Animal vids

    I have been violated by this video of turtles doing the nasty. I've never in all my years seen such a thing.

    These videos are great, though. Animals "talking" makes me happy.
    Hey, Alan!
    scared baby bear. I almost peed my pants.

    Thursday, August 20, 2009

    Project Runway is on

    I've been avoiding the internet but the internet waits for no one. I have quite a few funnies:
    Worst men's fashions. I think they may have forgotten a few, such as bell bottoms and leisure suits...
    3 Keyboard Cat moon shirts.
    Street sign fail
    Big time toy FAIL. Make sure to read the product reviews!
    I have two new sites that are kind of rocking me right now:
    http://www.comixed.com/ (and this one's great)

    I admit it, I like all things goofy.

    20 things you didn't know about HURRICANES. I live in New Orleans. This is important!
    Remember how people always say that humans only use 10% of their brain? Here's the other 90
    Evangelical Lutherans debate allowing gay ministers
    60 Second Podcast: Older adult's driving abilities may be hindered by meds. Again, I think you should not be able to drive past a certain age...
    Podcast: A study in the journal Current Biology verifies the proposition that people in a featureless environment will wind up walking in circles
    London's new trend: PUTPocketers. People randomly slip bills into stranger's pockets...

    New Imogen Heap album streaming on her website
    Jermaine from Flight of the Concords has a new movie

    Tuesday, August 18, 2009

    Gloomy Tuesday links

    For the health freaks like Von, who are terrified of all germs: strep throat may have killed Mozart!!
    Nerdom: Outer space Building blocks of life found on comet
    60 second podcast: Your phone knows who your real friends are

    This is an important topic for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate what I call "inbetween cheese". This is cheese that has melted, then recooled, and cools in a totally new substance. I hate it. It's no longer solid nor liquid, just this mushy, stringy mass. The only time that this is acceptable is on pizza, because mozzarella doesn't have a lot of oil in it so it doesn't get weird when it cools. But here is an article about why some cheeses melt and others crumble. Please tell us, please, so I know which ones to stay away from :)

    Monday, August 17, 2009

    Back on early shift links!

    Congressman makes weed legal for himself

    Funny talking animal vids. I am still chuckling at my desk.
    Human skin rug. Ew.
    Flow chart on how men and women argue. CLASSIC!
    Fastest State Trooper EVER

    The Great Blue Hole. There are a ton of unexplored realms on earth; sometimes it seems insane that we would want to explore anywhere else.
    The origins of cubicles and open office floor plans

    Wednesday, August 12, 2009

    My movie is skipping, add links

    Arrested Development spin-off...Sort of. At least it's Will Arnett in it.
    Scientists consider using medicine dispensing contact lenses. The idea is that they would be controlled release INTO YOUR EYES.
    Collection of photos from 'There, I fixed it'. Very funny. People are nuts.
    Do you know what it means to be a cougar? Well, let these ladies show you.

    Tuesday, August 11, 2009

    Quick links

    Space exploration-travel styleNASA plans to use government money to fun private trips to space.
    Have nosey cats that like to sleep on your warm computer? Try Pawsense. It protects your computers against cat invasion.
    Funny news errors
    Amazing paintings. Real life art. This makes me happier than a hanger with play doh on it being passed off as "modern art".
    Time tells us that working out won't make us thin. After training for a half marathon, I can see where the truth in this is. Working out five days a week made me EAT, although I did still tone. Interesting.

    60 second podcast transcripts:
    Visible meteor shower
    Do food stamps lead to obesity?

    Saturday, August 8, 2009

    Saturday links

    Just a few tonight:

    Movie sequels are getting out of control...
    Video of Ryan Gosselin's new band. I'm not too keen on the drumming, but everything else is pretty good.
    The truth behind the brown M&Ms. the rumor about Van Halen's demands for no brown M&Ms had good reason. I love Snopes.
    Study on how relinquishing some power may be beneficial. Oh, how things fall into place.

    Tuesday, August 4, 2009

    Tuesday, July 28, 2009

    With this ring, I thee wed

    A symbol of etermal love, trust, acceptance, and matrimony. The wedding band is afixed upon our left "ring" finger (although, in Greek culture it is placed on the right ring finger) as an outward symbol of the commitment we have made to someone. Note, an OUTWARD symbol. It's like an alarm bell to onlookers.

    I was walking through Wal Mart the other day and nearly crashed into a moderate looking guy as he was coming through the bike section. My immediate reaction was to look down at his left hand. I did it, noticed that there was no ring, gave a small smile and excused myself. What is this trashy action that I am now doing?
    It was so obvious to me as soon as I'd done it. I've reached an age where being married is expected and single persons must mind their boundaries when searching for partners. I hadn't realized that this had happened! I had, however, realized that I started accepting bald(ing) men as attractive. After this realization, I wondered what did that ring really mean anymore.

    I found myself thinking, "what if this guy IS married and he and his wife have chosen not to wear rings" or "what if he isn't married but is in a committed relationship?". Normal things to ponder, considering the state of marriage in America. Statistics are bad; religious views affect perceptions about it; legal institutions affect our need for it. I want to know how people REALLY feel about marriage.
    I have several friends who are married and they all fall under different religious views. Until recently, I had not really examined what marriage meant in the strict Christian world (despite the fact that I was raised Catholic). But, what is the ultimate drive for wanting to get married? Is that outward expression really a symbol of an inward feeling?

    Either way, I will continue to refrain from hitting on men with wedding bands on.

    Friday, July 24, 2009

    Lazy Links

    I have a bunch of work to do today, so Reader it is!

    Thursday, July 23, 2009

    Before I go home links

    11 movie soundtracks that were better than the movie. Agreed.
    Canada's 'weed mine' may be lost.
    Church of England offers 2-in-1 ceremonies. What a great job they've done this time! Get baptized AND married TODAY!
    Metro sexual is OUT. This article claims that flashiness is now less important to men during this recession, but I see just as many douche-holes now as I did before...
    Volcanoes vs lightening. Very cool pics

    Life:All very helpful and relevant right now!
    Who is worthy of love?. I like Mikko's articles. He often writes about and says things that I'd like to discuss with people. Somewhere, all too many people have felt that they didn't deserve some basic emotional needs. Mikko kind of talks about this, but I don't think it's enough to address some more deep issues. But it's a great start to making people wake up to what they're worth (or in some cases, learning how little that is).

    Acceptance. Life tries to teach us to accept all things, good and bad, and not skew our perceptions about things that simply are. We don't get angered at the existence of gravity, so why do we become angry that there was a car accident that just put us behind schedule? You can't help these things and just have to accept them and some other general curveballs that get tossed your way in life. The article dares readers to learn to judge less and accept more.

    Wednesday, July 22, 2009

    Late lunch links

    Sufjan Stevens has a new release. The BQE is now available...

    Google Earth now goes to the moon
    WWJD?. Read some 'scholarly' speculations on what Jesus would do about healthcare...
    Last giant tortoise mates at age 90. Dirty old man. Also in evolution, a page on Discover mag of six spots of evolutionary growth.

    Also, note :Recall on romaine lettuce

    Motivational Posters of the day. Some of these are good. If these are your thing, you should check out demotivational.com.

    Fertility and you (yes you, not me!)

    Trying to get pregnant? Here's some things you should know:
    According to a study by Walter Willet, diet can have an affect on fertility. Scientific American listens as he describes how low insulin reception, low-fat milk and bad fats can affect a woman's ability to conceive. He also addresses the caffeine debate, and whether or not coffee and tea actually have any affect on an existing pregnancy. The link above has the SA podcast as well as the transcribed interview.

    Tuesday, July 21, 2009

    Late day links

    A few for the day:

    Crazy lady of the day from List of the Day
    Redneck cakes from List of the Day
    Obey road signs!. This is a good one.
    City Council loves farts

    Tests on spinal fluid may detect Alzheimer's sooner
    Now you can buy camel milk chocolates
    Madoff Bill. Charge rich criminals for their jail stay? Sounds good to me.

    10 ways to overcome procrastination. One of which should be "stop posting on your blog".

    Don't try to win a staring contest with a cat. They just don't blink. Creepy-eyed buggers.

    The Divinyls talked about it....

    Sex with yourself. I'd better post about it. The Relationship Journal that I often read had an article today about masturbation so I decided to bring it up.

    Recently, a young woman stabbed the shit out of her boyfriend when she came home and found him jerking it, and not but a week or so ago I read a pseudo-debate on Relevant Mag's site about whether or not masturbation is a sin.
    I get a bit riled up over the latter. I do not condone stabbing people for any reason, but I find that I disagree almost whole heartedly with some of the commenters on the Relevant article. Mikko, the author of The Relationship journal, briefly addresses where sex and spirtuality meet; however, some people believe that self satisfaction is of the devil and has no place in a relgious person's life.


    Mine I will keep at a minimum, and would like to hear what a more diverse group thinks (as if I have any readers, much less diverse ones!). What I will say is that I think that masturbation should be discussed and kept in the open. My first problem with it's connotation in the Christian world is that it is taboo, and at least Relevant decided to talk about it. It's a part of life, and our bodies, and keeping anything hush-hush creates a feeling of guilt and shame and no matter where you fall, no one deserves to feel that way.
    I will also toss this in: Saying that masturbation ruined your marriage/sex life (in our out of a marriage) is like saying that eating Raisin Bran ruined your marriage. The actual act didn't; someone's feelings about or behind the act did.

    I have to ask myself if our society has a warped view of self satisfaction and if this, like many other things, are simply the scapegoat for some other issues?

    To quote George Michael: "Sex is natural, sex is fun! Sex is best when it's one on one"

    Friday, July 17, 2009

    Late night Friday links

    I've been busy, I've been away! Work has been nuts so I haven't been able to compile any links. Here are some quick ones for the weekend:

    10 best cover songs. Do you agree? Me, not so much...
    How lasers make lame pictures better
    Fonolo now records CS calls. The service will now tap into the automated call line for you, connect you when the rep answers, and can record the call for you. I wish I'd had this when I called Cox Cable a few months ago...
    Cussing may raise your pain threshold
    'Jane Roe' of Roe vs Wade arrested during a protest
    Vinland map of America is authentic. The first map to ever show part of America BEFORE Colombus "found" it.
    Onion juice used to make electricity. We really are going "green", aren't we?

    Monday, July 6, 2009

    Post vacation links

    Didn't have too much to share today aside from a few geeky links:

    Are certain genders or types of people more persuasive?
    Ever wondered what's in those fireworks?
    Fructose may impair memory. Scientists are learning more about how fructose affects our bodies and the damage may not be limited to just our metabolism.
    Overweight girls are more lonely. No shit, sherlock.

    Some sp@m:
    My friends find these ridiculous sites and then I waste all of my free time looking at them. I've gone through three pages. Sheesh.

    Thursday, July 2, 2009

    Thursday's pre-vacation links

    Not much to share today, just more job related links.

    Top 10 most flexible jobs
    Top 10 home office jobs.

    Hmm, think it's time for a career change....

    Wednesday, July 1, 2009

    Wednesday Links

    I have a lot of work to get through so I am going to take a particularly short route in providing links for today. Take a glimpse at my Google Reader. Beware, some items are NWS.

    There's also an article hereabout a recall on e.coli infected Nestle cookie dough.

    An interesting article hereon new findings in fertility in men.

    Have at it!

    Monday, June 29, 2009

    Getting a job in 2009!

    With the job market still being tight, I would like to offer a few helpful pointers in submitting resumes to companies for a specific position. I have gotten quite a bit of feedback from other professionals in several fields on resume and cover letter writing tips. In my current venture into summer hiring frenzy, these tips come as I come across some of the worst mistakes in resume writing.

  • Do not use crazy fonts in your cover letter, e-mail or resume. It is hard to read script fonts or curly, italic fonts, and can be frustrating to someone who is trying to gauge your qualifications. It is best to stick with typewriter fonts such as Times New Roman, Courier New, Georgia, or even Arial, Microsoft Sans Serif, Lucids Sans, Tahoma or Verdana.
  • Save your resume in universal formats.Resumes should always be in Microsoft formats, in the oldest possible version. Microsoft Word 97 is best, as some users may have MS Office 2003, or even 2000. Not everyone has transitioned to Office 2007, and if you are using it, they will not be able to view your file. Do not use .wps, .wpd (Microsoft Works Processor), or .txt (Notepad/Typepad)formats. Very few people can read these, and .txt formats have no wrap-around function and your text goes all the way across the page.
    It is a good idea to save your resume in several formats just in case, so you do not waste time reformatting it for various companies.
  • BCC other companies that you e-mail your resume to.. Leaving all addresses viewable sends the messagage that you are desperate for work, and also says that we are each in competition for your employment.
  • Use a professional or simple e-mail address. It never looks professional to send a resume from "hotgrrl504 at yahoo". This sends the message that you are immature, not concerned about having a professional appearance and are not concerned with the espectations of the business world.
  • Update your 'objective' field for each position you apply for. This reflects laziness and also, if your experience is in a different field than you are applying for, it can relay a message that you are just using this job as a stepping stone to your career and you do not plan longevity in this position.
    Also, don't leave it as generic as "To obtain a position in your organization". Based on what may follow, it may seem that you don't care WHAT job you get, just that SOMEONE hires you.
  • Have someone proofread your resume. It is very easy to overlook your own mistakes, and they may also be able to help you re-word some common terms and phrases.
  • Update regularly. Make sure that not only your work and education history are current, but also your contact information!
  • List only your relevant work experience.If you apply for a job as an accountant, a hiring manager doesn't necessarily need to know that you worked at a daycare center while you were in college. Listing the jobs that have comparable skills but in different fields is useful, but cluttering up page after page of irrelevant information is not.
  • Don't expect a reply right away. A hiring manager or HR person may be weeding through tens of resumes and may have a lengthy process for finding qualified applicants. If you receive a "thanks but no thanks" reply, do not call or write back asking why you are not qualified. If you do receive a positive response, still allow a few days before sending a follow up call or e-mail. Much like dating, it makes you look desperate!

    It is always helpful to searh help online for more tips at sites like these:

    Please, also feel free to comment with any field specific tips, ie for lawyers, phlembotomists, research jobs, non-profit, etc. Every tip helps!
  • Manic Monday links

    The morning is already stale and it's not yet 9:00am. I'd like to start with something interesting:

    Paper folding art. This is more amazing to me than the chalk art. There's also The Sand Dancer who draws, or dances, huge art pieces into beach sand. It is amazing what the human mind is capable of.

    For instance, the geekery:
    The enigma of dreams. Several theories about why humans dream.
    ComicCon 2009 to recieve TV attention. The event has gotten more massive in the last few years and TV networks plan to cash in.
    LA plans to bring light to town's movie fests. Who knew they even had any?
    5 baby friendly rock albums.

    10 Rules for slowing down and enjoying life
    What to do when you're told you're OVERqualified. There should be an article for hiring managers on how to handle people when they are overqualified. *gulp*

    World Hunger hits one billion markNot something I'd typically like to spotlight but maybe it may help people dig deep and find a local (or large scale) way to help.
    Children of gay couples talk about their families

    Looking for new music?
    This isn't new by any means, but I'd bring some attention to it, anyway.
    Wired Music Podcasts. I know some people aren't hot on Wired Mag but so far, it's a supplement to my usual Paste Sampler which, BTW, is now completely available in digital format. The mag has gone online to save money (and trees, of course) so if you were ever interested in picking up the mag but don't like traditional subscriptions, now's the time to support 'em.

    That's a lot of links for today. Just in case anyone has a severe "Case of the Mondays". Ha.
    Sooner or later I'd like to get into more discussion posts, but that will take more readers for that to be worthwhile.

    Saturday, June 27, 2009

    Saturday Night Life links

    Pixies to record new album
    Homeless girl goes to Harvard
    'The View' host Hasselbeck steals book Her gluten free cook book may be partially plagiarized.
    Banksy mural sullied. Banksy fights to get paint marks removed.

    Being chubby can lengthen your life
    Snoring is a symptom of apnea And there may be a cheap way to cure it.

    Study shows chromosomal link to autism
    Chevy goes green. Chevrolet to unveil new electric car
    wind power, 60 second podcast. This is part of an awesome serious of 60 second iTunes podcasts.
    Volcano in space Space station images of a recent volcanic eruption.

    Cat?tattoo fail
    Unidentified tattoo foolery
    Police car fail