Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Color of Love

On 2/17/10, I read and responded to an article on The Relationship Journal because I think people really should address this because it is a real issue in dating in America.

Hey, I'm a long time reader and have kept up with a lot of the helpful articles that you have written. I'd like to ad my opinion of the topic of interracial/intercultural dating. I think that race should be removed from the equation; here's why: race does not at all determine what kind of relationship you will have with a person. Aside from stereotypes, there is no need to believe it. Now, if a man has a preference for blondes, does that mean that all blondes will be self centered in relationships? No. Nor does it mean that any individual of a race or culture will act stereotypically. We should ALWAYS be understanding and respectful of other's cultures, regardless of dating. In this, we should only ever consider race.
There is rarely a focus on meeting the right type of person; people just aren't asking themselves and being true to what they want in a relationship. Do they want someone who will be a responsible mother or father? Do they want someone is financially responsible? Someone who is laid back, free spirited, Type A...these are all types of things that affect how a relationship works, and all people, regardless of race, carry these characteristics. When you remove race and culture from the equation, you add thousands more eligible singles to your dating pool.
We are individuals, and I personally want to be addressed as one, and would not want any potential mate to decide the fate of our future based on a physical characteristic or cultural differences. Should a guy from Michigan who's never eaten grits not date a girl from Georgia because she has? That's about how silly it all sounds to me.

Mikko had a great reply (which you can read at the link above), but I wanted to further inquire about people's perspectives on interracial dating and also to further clarify what my point is.

Well, what is my point?
I don't like the idea that we have to be OVER sensitive to other races and cultures; that actually leads to opposite stereotyping and misconceptions. But general race issues aren't what I'm addressing. I am addressing how we view other people from other races as different, when we really are the same. Our cultures may lead to subtle differences to large ones (say, if a white man marries and traditional Hindi woman), yet those aren't where issues actually come from. The idea that we simple CAN'T date other races because they are too different is the problem.
We aren't all that different. There are white people, black, asian and hispanic people that can all find similar interests and personality types. And THAT'S what we're supposed to be looking for in a relationship, right? So why is it so impossible to expand those options to include other races if they are still sharing interest and have compatible personality types? That is where the emphasis should be in all relationships anyway.
It really won't matter if your black girlfriend doesn't want to go into the pool if she is a caring and supporting partner. See what I mean?
Opening up your options by expanding your social circle can make a big difference. I should know.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Getting down to business with some links.

I hoard links and save them for later. I don't have a ton, but I need to unload these from my browser before it crashes.

  • The coolest presentation you'll ever see: 10 things you didn't know about orgasm. The presenter is just as entertaining as the slideshow.
  • 20 funniest figure skating faces. Of course, in honor of the Olympics.Number 2 just does it to me.
  • Take this test!Commonly misused words. There is an answer key here with some great explanations, too.
  • the best diet information you'll ever read with a side order of Six of your favorite things that will make you fat It's amazing how many people know so little about...everything.
    Like this:
    New ways to make people lamer, dumber, and more lame. Some butt-wipe of a pediatrician wants to make HOT DOGS LESS DANGEROUS. FOR CHILDREN. See, adults and children alike are at risk of involuntary suicide because of their high levels of stupidity. The article explains that only 17% of choking incidents are even caused by hot WHY should we change a delicious and awesomely phallic food for 17% of people? My favorite quote from the article is this: "No parents can watch all of their kids 100% of the time," Smith says. "The best way to protect kids is to design these risks out of existence.". That's right, dumb the world down its lowest common denominator. Rather than, you know, be a responsible parent. Or halfway intelligent human being.
    In honor of this, my friend also linked to Stupid Warning Labels and other idiotic warnings.
    I'm a cynic, I'm a realist, and I don't think ANYTHING should come with a warning. You should be tough and figure it out yourself and if you die, then hello natural selection.

    But I do like this video and song which may have been ripped off by this other band I kinda like. Very different types of music, similar video. I think I like them both.
  • Tuesday, February 16, 2010

    Short and sweet!

    Just a couple of cool sites to bookmark:

  • A very long list of commonly misused English words. Read it. You'll find something on there that you need.
  • (I am not shirking my responsibility as the Grammar Hall Monitor, as my sister so lovingly called me; I will return to my grammar tips soon)
  • Astronomy picture of the day!. As shared to me by Angie, you can look at NASA's archive of amazing photos.
  • How to connect your laptop to your hi-def TV. Now, if you're still in the stone ages like me and have a tube TV set (don't laugh, I like it and I've had it for 16 years or something), this won't help you. I have been searching for the right cables to hook a hi-def laptop to a standard TV/entertainment center. Any suggestions?
  • Thursday, February 4, 2010


    I can't stop. I can't help it! feeds into two of the biggest parts of my personality: my twisted sense of humor and my love of nerdy knowledge. So I am sharing some of my favorite, most recent Cracked articles. Keep in mind, this is all truth (some of which I've already read about on SciAm or Discovery Mag), and take in all of this glorious knowledge.

  • Six ways your brain love to screw with you

  • Six logical fallacies that can ruin you

  • What can you do about this, you may ask?
  • Five ways to hack your brain into awesomeness

  • And yes, Kramer DID do that in an episode of "Seinfeld".

    As an addendum to #1 on "How to hack your brain", the reason that this is possible for you to even do to yourself is because memories are maleable. We think of memories as being solid facts in our brain and, once they are stored, they often are-until you recall them. They become pliable once you recall them (say, for instance, remembering something someone wore at a big event). There is a split second in memory recollection where it is subject to changes and you can even forget it forever. So if you tried to remember if the hot waiter at your best friend's wedding was wearing a blue tie or a black one, the moment you introduce uncertainty, your brain starts to re-write the event. You can no longer remember the true fact the next time you think of it, or you may all together believe it was black when it was really blue, simply because you changed the data the last time you recalled the memory. Reality is not 100% perception...