12 states we could all do without

A friend and I were talking about band tours and traveling and he ended up mentioning how much I dislike Arkansas. In case you didn't know, I hate the state of Arkansas. I thought everyone knew this. He did. And he made a joke that I would be a 39 state theorist and I have been so challenged to name 11 states that I could stand to live in America without. I'll do him one better and give you 12.

Arkansas
Besides obvious reasons such as the fact that the state is full of idiots, it is just a completely useless state. It is not currently nor has it ever really contributed anything to this union. If you've ever driven through or across Arkansas, it was probably one of the worst moments of your life. This state is mooching off of other states by having towns named "Texarkana" and "West Memphis". Get your own towns, Arkansas!

Montana
This state is named Spanish for "mountain". Yeah, we get that. You're not the only state to have those tall, pointy, snow capped things called mountains. If this is their only bragging point, then they should go on and give up now. Well, that and it's ranked as the fourth largest state. Why do they need to hoard all that space? Go on and give Idaho a little of that land back so they can be nice and square, too.

Oregon
I know that there are some people who are huge fans of Portland; I've even been told that I would love it there. However, that doesn't mean that we need the whole state. Oregon isn't contributing anything to our union. They don't have grass grown from gold or or giant puppies. Just a lot of space between California and Washington. If we want to keep Portland, why don't we just drop the Washington state line a few miles and give our great city a new home and stop making Portland carry all of the dead weight of the entire state?

West Virginia
You might think I'm just being a jerk when I say that we could all live without West Virginia, but the truth is, do we really need a state that is just named "West" of the state it's next to? The true irony of our sad, loser states is that West Virginia is nicknamed "The Mountain State". Sucks that they gave the real name to Montana. West Virginia couldn't even do that right.

New Hampshire
I don't particularly like states that are named after a direction or the "new" version of something else. I won't hate on the significance of the original colonies, but what has N.H. contributed since? It's yet another stretch of land between more interesting states. Do they have tall trees there, or something?

Minnesota
What did Minnesota do to anyone, you may ask? Everything. Even its own residents don't like it. More than half of the entire state's population lives near St. Paul. That's a LOT of people for the twelfth largest state. What are you running from? The stinking smell of cheese that's floating over your border? Also, Minnesota has one of the more annoying U.S English dialects. Can't you just hear someone mocking them by stretching out that "mean-ahh-so-tahhhh"? If I were doing a list of cities, for that reason alone, Boston would be on my list.

Alabama.
...
It's Alabama. Do we need to talk about it? They eat baby souls while sitting on their front porches in year-round hell heat. And they're damned proud of it.

New Mexico
New Mexico's just sitting there, being all hot and just stealing some of the interest from Arizona. The fact that the majority of its population is still Native Americans and Mexicans suggests that we should just give the damned state back. Adding the "new" in its name doesn't make it any more or less like the original.

Indiana
Aside from now being the memorial ground for Michael Jackson, can anyone name anything interesting or important about the state? The state's unoriginal name simply means "Land of the Indian"- not because there are a ton of red feathers left in the state, but because they let them live there a little while before hauling them off to the reservations. Aside from the Indi 500, which could be done in any state, Indiana has not lured us to its border for any good reason.

North Dakota
Again, directional state names annoy me. The state may have had an honorable name but being named after a native Indian tribe but couldn't that name have sufficed? Just...Dakota? Ew, now I'm thinking of Dakota Fanning. Ruined. North Dakota hasn't given us any yummy foods (yes, Idaho has been spared because of it's potato crops. I love potatoes. I'm the Bubba Gump of potatoes), interesting innovations or sexy people. All of these are important parts of our country.

South Dakota
It's south of North Dakota. What else is there to say? A friend just argued that South Dakota should be spared because of the "Teton National Park" but that's not even in this state. She also mentioned the Black Mountains but I could just as well go to another mountainous state when it's not snowing. There, they're black.

Wyoming
It's a complete rectangle. That, for me, is reason enough. However, it also has a "W" and an "M" in the name and that just ruffles my feathers like no one's business. "W" is for WINNERS. Wyoming is for LOSERS. It has the lowest population of all the U.S.. Did you know that there's a place called "Dead Indian Pass"? It sounds like a hate crime, and I hate Wyoming for it.

With this ring, I thee wed

A symbol of etermal love, trust, acceptance, and matrimony. The wedding band is afixed upon our left "ring" finger (although, in Greek culture it is placed on the right ring finger) as an outward symbol of the commitment we have made to someone. Note, an OUTWARD symbol. It's like an alarm bell to onlookers.

I was walking through Wal Mart the other day and nearly crashed into a moderate looking guy as he was coming through the bike section. My immediate reaction was to look down at his left hand. I did it, noticed that there was no ring, gave a small smile and excused myself. What is this trashy action that I am now doing?
It was so obvious to me as soon as I'd done it. I've reached an age where being married is expected and single persons must mind their boundaries when searching for partners. I hadn't realized that this had happened! I had, however, realized that I started accepting bald(ing) men as attractive. After this realization, I wondered what did that ring really mean anymore.

I found myself thinking, "what if this guy IS married and he and his wife have chosen not to wear rings" or "what if he isn't married but is in a committed relationship?". Normal things to ponder, considering the state of marriage in America. Statistics are bad; religious views affect perceptions about it; legal institutions affect our need for it. I want to know how people REALLY feel about marriage.
I have several friends who are married and they all fall under different religious views. Until recently, I had not really examined what marriage meant in the strict Christian world (despite the fact that I was raised Catholic). But, what is the ultimate drive for wanting to get married? Is that outward expression really a symbol of an inward feeling?

Either way, I will continue to refrain from hitting on men with wedding bands on.

The Divinyls talked about it....

Sex with yourself. I'd better post about it. The Relationship Journal that I often read had an article today about masturbation so I decided to bring it up.

Recently, a young woman stabbed the shit out of her boyfriend when she came home and found him jerking it, and not but a week or so ago I read a pseudo-debate on Relevant Mag's site about whether or not masturbation is a sin.
I get a bit riled up over the latter. I do not condone stabbing people for any reason, but I find that I disagree almost whole heartedly with some of the commenters on the Relevant article. Mikko, the author of The Relationship journal, briefly addresses where sex and spirtuality meet; however, some people believe that self satisfaction is of the devil and has no place in a relgious person's life.

Words?

Mine I will keep at a minimum, and would like to hear what a more diverse group thinks (as if I have any readers, much less diverse ones!). What I will say is that I think that masturbation should be discussed and kept in the open. My first problem with it's connotation in the Christian world is that it is taboo, and at least Relevant decided to talk about it. It's a part of life, and our bodies, and keeping anything hush-hush creates a feeling of guilt and shame and no matter where you fall, no one deserves to feel that way.
I will also toss this in: Saying that masturbation ruined your marriage/sex life (in our out of a marriage) is like saying that eating Raisin Bran ruined your marriage. The actual act didn't; someone's feelings about or behind the act did.

I have to ask myself if our society has a warped view of self satisfaction and if this, like many other things, are simply the scapegoat for some other issues?

To quote George Michael: "Sex is natural, sex is fun! Sex is best when it's one on one"

Where DO the chips fall?

A very dear friend of mine linked me to this "article" on the site Planet Out: Does sleeping with men make you less of a lesbian?
I read through the article and the comments below and was astounded, as I was afraid I'd be. Most of the people comment do NOT think that a woman who identifies herself as a lesbian but still has casual sex with men is less of a lesbian- less "pure" as it has been stated.
I find myself pondering the whole concept. I know of lesbians who will not date women who consider themselves "bisexual" or have slept with men. Is this a form of discrimination? Are there women out there who are searching for a loophole to their homosexuality? Does this same loophole exist for men?

Times, they are a changing. The spectrum, the definition of some of the most simplistic concepts now begins to stretch far and wide...